GadgetVicar

Scottish Prayers For The World Cup

The bishop of Croydon has written some prayers for the World Cup.

How about these for Scottish soccer fans?

Forgive us for failing (again). We'll really try to do better, but can't promise anything.

God who is always on the side of the depressed and defenceless, can we please have a go next time?

O, Lord, please let anyone but England win, for we are their neighbours and have to live with them.

Grant to our spouses unfailing patience as we watch the games, and may they supply us with an abundant supply of nibbles and liquid refreshment. Forgive them their inability to appreciate the beautiful game which you have created, and stop up their mouths from moaning about there being nothing else on the telly.

Best Laid Plans

We were all prepared to distribute daffodils to the mothers this morning, when it dawned on me that I hadn't seen any daffodils in church (nor anywhere for that matter, as I later realised). Cue me dashing off in search of daffodils, which aren't yet available, because they haven't appeared yet. Doh! I ended up getting carnations instead and all was well.

Some of the moms did their rendition of "The Mom's Song". They did it twice, mostly for my benefit, since I missed it the first time round because of my search for flowers. Wow! They were phenomenal, so my heartfelt thanks, mighty women of God, and to all mums everywhere, I salute you!

A Perfect Church

Some clergy friends are thinking about moving to a new challenge. I think I've found the perfect church for anyone to serve in. It's small, historic, quaint, full of biddable congregants and a lot of fun. Check out St. Hilary's.

Do We Really Need The Apple iPad?

Discover other future products, the Mactini and iToilet by Peter Serafinowic.

Christmas Spirit

I got to church at about 10pm on Christmas Eve in order to set up for the Watchnight service. As I opened the bag which contained my prayer book and Bible, I detected the powerful smell of whisky. I'd placed a bottle of Glenlivet in the bag earlier in the day when one of our senior members had given it to me after a home communion in a snowy Strathblane. The trouble was, I'd forgotten to remove it when I got home. This wouldn't normally have been a problem, but unfortunately I slipped on the ice outside the rectory while leaving for church. I lost my mobile phone at this point too (I found it frozen to the step when I got home in the wee small hours). The bottle's base separated from the body during the fall, but I only discovered this once at church.

My main problem was that my Bible and Prayer Book were both reeking of strong liquor. At the beginning of the service, I explained what had happened, just in case anyone smelled the whisky and thought someone up front had taken one too many. I commented that my Bible was now most definitely full of the spirit. Most people laughed. I could have cried at the waste.

One staff member commented that this was one very convoluted method of explaining away my partying on Christmas Eve.

The Christmas services were both busy. It was good to welcome back some people who came to our Carol Service last Sunday night as well as those visiting family and friends. As usual, many of the church family are way at this time of year, but nonetheless, it always feels to me as if our worship is joining in with something much bigger, and so it proved this time as my retired Church of Scotland minister friend, Gordon Reid, led the music. On Christmas Day, I managed to avoid the dancing he invited us to participate in. This might have been somewhat lacking in Christmas spirit!

Having A Nice Lie Down

If you are ever cold-called by someone trying to sell you something, remember and copy the following from the very clever Robert Popper:

Alternatively, you could aways try, "Would you like to know Jesus?".

Rock Stars

A lovely nun called Maria surprised me on Thursday-

Maria: With a surname like that, you'll be from Ireland.

Me: Sadly no, but my dad's family came from there.

Maria: Have you ever been?

Me: Only to Dublin a few times.

Maria: That's where I come from.

Me: Like U2.

Maria: U2. Ahh, that Bono, he's lovely, so he is.

She is the the coolest nun in the world! The staff at the Redemptorist monastery of Kinnoull were wonderful hosts, just as I remembered them being many years ago. They served their guests well, with smiles and genuine Christlike care. They've got a real joy in life.

In other thoughts about rock stars, after the service tonight I was told that I got a mention on Dermot O'Leary's Radio 2 show yesterday, and to my amazement it's true! Listen here from about 29.15.

Bear Grylls

Aye, Right

In more news of a historical nature, it seems that the Holy Grail is to be found in the town of my birth, Kilwinning in Ayrshire. If it was the Dan Brown version, that might make me related by blood to.............

Radical Anglicans?

Caught Omid Djalili's show last night where he reckons Anglicans need to get radical and asks, "C of E or Sea of Evil?". Painfully funny. See it for the next seven days at http://is.gd/yWwk from 13.00 minutes in.